English puns

"What did the tie say to the hat?"

"You go on ahead; I'll hang around."

"What did the light bulb say to the switch?"

"You turn me on."

"What did the stamp say to the envelope?"

"Stick with me and we'll go places."

"How do trains hear announcements?"

"Through their engineers."

"How do mountains stay warm?"

"They wear snowcaps."

Work2/5Open

"What did the janitor say after jumping from the closet?"

"Supplies!"

"What did the left eye say to the right eye?"

"Something between us smells."

School1/5Open

"What did zero say to eight?"

"Nice belt."

"What did one wall say to the other wall?"

"I'll meet you at the corner."

"How do billboards communicate?"

"They use sign language."

"How does a penguin build its home?"

"Igloos it together."

"How do you organize a space party?"

"You planet."

"What does a house wear?"

"Address."

"How does the moon cut its hair?"

"Eclipse it."

Technology1/5Open

"How do trees access the internet?"

"They log in."

School2/5Open

"Is this swimming pool safe for diving?"

"It deep-ends."

School2/5Open

"Can February March?"

"No, but April May."

Work2/5Open

"Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?"

"Many soles were lost."

Work1/5Open

"How is your job at the balloon factory?"

"It has its ups and downs."

Work1/5Open

"How is your job at the mirror factory?"

"It's something I can see myself doing."

Food1/5Open

"Have you heard the rumor about butter?"

"I'd better not spread it."

What do you call a duck that steals?

A robber ducky.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

What do you call a ghost's mistake?

A boo-boo.